I reluctantly did my first solo trip in 2007 to Zacatecas, Mexico. I had just moved to Monterrey, Mexico to start a new teaching job the month before, and was already anxious to begin exploring the rest of the country. Zacatecas, a five hour bus journey away, was the perfect weekend trip and a great opportunity to get myself better acquainted with my querido Mexico. After searching for a travel partner and coming up empty-handed, I did something I never imagined I would do: I booked a ticket… For one. Gulp!
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| Above: On my first solo trip in 2007 in Zacatecas, Mexico; Below: 2 years later, on a subsequent solo trip to Guanajuato, Mexico |
I was concerned… About my safety.
About how I would occupy my time and itinerary sans travel companion(s).
About how I would possibly look like a “loser” for travelling alone.
But guess what? The trip went amazingly well. I met people. I saw cool stuff. And most importantly, I realized that I could travel on my own. No longer a slave to others’ schedules, finances, and indecision about just whether they wanted to travel with me or not, what’s followed since are a slew of solo journeys that have taken me to the literal and figurative hot spots of Central and South America, through Europe, and down to Australia.
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| Solo trip to Iceland in 2010 |
I have learned that I enjoy travelling by myself, and that, more importantly, I am confident travelling by myself- I never compromise my safety. What’s more, you are not a “loser”for rolling solo; quite the contrary in fact!
Being able to travel alone signals a certain self-assuredness in oneself; a desire do to more and see more on one’s own terms. Travelling solo is freeing and helps you to become more aware, both of yourself and of your surroundings.
Here are my 9 tips for solo travel if you’re a girl.
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| Above: solo in Sydney, Australia in 2010; below: solo in Dublin, Ireland in 2009 |
1. Be prepared.
A well-prepared itinerary helps me feel secure and keeps me occupied. I do a lot of research and planning before I get on the bus/plane/train. At the very least, as a female travelling alone, you should book your first night of accomodation before your arrival at your destination. Heck, plan your whole first one or two days!
2. Look purposeful/confident and keep boredom at bay.
Being prepared and knowing where you’re going helps immensely with this. Don’t show your ignorance, fear, and vulnerability while on the road- it may encourage unwanted attention and invite others to take advantage of you. Try not to idle on the sidewalk looking lost; instead approach someone who looks knowledgeable right away and confidently ask where you need to go. Bring a book to restaurants so you’re not staring off into oblivion, uncomfortably waiting for your food to come.
3. Do the walking tours/excursions.
Kill two birds with one stone: learn about your destination and battle loneliness at the same time. Walking tours are a great way to orient yourself, as well as meet other adventure-seekers discovering the same place as yourself. I met to see Riverdance with a some Australians I met on a walking tour of Dublin. I went to eat kebabs with folks I met on the free walking tour in Budapest and had fish and chips with an American couple I met on the walking tour in Edinburgh. In the Chilean desert, I booked three days of excursions with a local operator and spending the three days touring with the same group of travellers. In all cases, strangers, became friends, at least for a little while.
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| My tour group in Chile’s Atacama Desert |
4. Stay in hostels and don’t be afraid to talk to strangers.
Most hostels have common rooms and host community building events. I’ve met tons of people in my hostel who I’ve shared precious moments with abroad. If sharing a room with strangers creeps you out, you can always stay in a private room- many hostels have them. Prefer to stay in a hotel? No problem. Many hostels post events on their websites, and you don’t necessarily have to be a guest to attend. Don’t miss out on a prime opportunity to meet other travellers!
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| New friends made on my solo trip to Cozumel and Tulum, Mexico in early 2008 |
5. Remain inconspicuous. Don’t dress provocatively.
Yes, I know we should be able to dress any way we want. Yes, I know that no state of undress provides a valid excuse to get harassed. But let’s get real: dressing a certain way in certain places will net you attention, some of which may be negative. I like short shorts more than anyone, but I don’t enjoy catcalls or having unsavoury people touch/follow me because three-quarters of my legs are on display. I like to remain as “below the radar”as possible when I travel, and try to blend in with the locals as much as I can. This makes my trip much more enjoyable. I thus try to conform, at least with my clothing, to cultural norms, and dress conservatively in countries (and/or tourist sites) where it is expected.
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| Trying to look the part at the Royal Palace in Bangkok, Thailand |
6. Ward off negative attention: don’t engage.
Sometimes negative attention, in particular from males, cannot be helped. My simple rule is to not engage: I ignore, I deflect, I keep it moving. I don’t respond to taunts or negativity. I remove myself quickly from situations where I am a target.
7. Always have an emergency contact number at hand, and let people at home know your whereabouts.
I suffered an extreme bout of food poisoning last September while by myself in Guatemala, and couldn’t leave my hotel room for 36 hours. Stupidly, I couldn’t even contact my boyfriend (who was at home in Germany) at the time, as I didn’t have his phone number memorized and was too sick to go to the internet cafe to look up the number online. A simple but good idea would be to take a few index cards and write down all pertinent contact information that can be used by yourself and/or others in case tragedy strikes. Keep them on your person and distribute in case of emergency.
8. Partner with other female travellers, they have your best interests at heart.
Who better to understand your plight, your fears, and your concerns than another female travelling on her own? I seek out those like myself before and during my travels, both to get the skinny on what its like to go it alone as a female in certain places, as well as to potentially buddy up on day trips and the like once I’m there. A few summers ago while travelling solo around Eastern Europe, I made friends with an American on our severely delayed train from Vienna, Austria to Krakow, Poland. By the time we got off the train, we were fast friends, and we shared our travel experiences over dinner. Our conversation about what it’s like to travel as a girl was probably one of the most enlightening I’d had all that year, and we were shocked at how much our travel styles complimented each other.
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| New friend made on solo trip to Poland in 2008 |
Other girls can give you the mundane, yet important information you need, i.e. where to find feminine hygiene products in your foreign land!
9. Let your hair down and enjoy!
This goes without saying. Live in the moment. Embrace the experience. Act every bit the fun, fearless, female traveller you are. And learn to relish in the luxury- the beauty- of your own company.
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| On my last solo trip a few weeks ago to Brussels, Belgium. I love travelling by myself!
Have you ever travelled alone? What’s stopping you? |
{ 60 comments… read them below or add one }
I completely agree with everything that you've posted. I love traveling alone, on many of my study abroad travels I would venture off by myself. That's what made my trips to Italy and France so memorable.
The night before I do any activities I usually sit with a map and orient myself and memorize major streets and axes. I'm obsessed with knowing what direction I'm facing and finding escape routes lol. I also usually give myself a schedule even if its a relatively lose one.
Also wearing shades was a great way to ward off unwanted attention. When it comes to clothing I keep it pretty ccc:conservative, casual and chic. Like you said no short shorts, or ultra mini skirts.
Ya'know what, I'm gonna make a post about traveling and fashion. Thanks for the idea lol.
You and Nicole.have inspired me! I a licking a destination thiss weekend!!!
I like your advice to partner with other female travelers. Or if you do decide to hang with a male traveler, my advice would be to still bring a female friend with you. Especially if you meet me, because I'm always down for a threesome.
I kid, I kid (in regards to my last sentence).
Great advice all around though. I like that you are not afraid to travel alone. And with your great smile, I can see why you have no issues. A smile really does open the world to you.
Good tips, Oneika! Especially #6…Cos the unfortunate part with travel is that you will run into weird dudes.
For example, I went to Toronto in 2007 by myself….I was coming back from sightseeing when this guy approached me and started striking up a convo. I didn't think much about it, but he kept on bugging me so I told him I had to go….Dude followed me like SEVERAL BLOCKS down the street before I got rid of him. Eventually I got rid of him and that's cos like most NYer's, I walk pretty fast. But girl…that was ONE scary experience.
I have always wanted to travel to a non-English speaking country my own..But not gonna lie, I am scurred to do it mainly because of the language barriers (getting lost and asking for directions, trying to find places to eat, avoiding the rough places…and creepy dudes lol). Was that ever a concern for you too?
You look great in your swimsuit! Now I have to go to the gym after reading this, lol! Great post!
Fantastic reading your journey into solo travel. Love this.
I haven't done too much solo travelling. I went to India by myself, but met a college friend while I was there and spent most of the time with her and her family with a 4 day trip by myself to Pune. Where I got the flu and could barely leave my hotel room. Awkward.
Loved your nine tips
Love the post Oneika, primarily because I'm one of the many people who's asked you about this.
I like the tip about going on walking tours as a way to occupy time, sightsee and meet new people. Also think it's great advice to dress accordingly depending on which country you're visiting to avoid any unnecessary and unwanted attention. It's something I never would have considered, sometimes a girl gets so focused on looking good, that you don't consider the repercussions of looking too appealing, especially in a foreign place.
Hope to have my first solo trip this year, still not sure where yet, but I will definitely keep your tips in mind.
Oneika tell the world how wonderful it can be!!
On my first solo trip I got stuck in customs for 2 hours and cried my eyes out! lol But from the moment I arrived at the guest house & dropped my bags I hit the ground running! I was introduced to the other house guests and swooped off to a dinner party to meet the other locals – We spent the next week as an island crew – Trinidad and Tobago 2007
I haven't stop solo trotting since!
I have done most if not all my travel alone. I started by taking Spanish classes (found on the internet) in Madrid and Peru. But I took what I will call my first "official" trip by myself, to Colombia. I say it was my first official since I did not go under the guise of a Spanish school or "ordered" itinerary. I had a loose itinerary, yes, but nothing strict. Also it was my first time back-packing and navigating all on my own. Needless to say, I met many great people and can't wait to head out again. And you are right, once you go by yourself and have a successful experience, you gain a sense of confidence that I don't believe you can get anywhere else. I love that I have met some of my best friends traveling. Had I not done it alone, they wouldn't be in my life today. Thanks for the great post, I hope you inspire others to lose the fear and just go! Cuidate.
I love traveling solo! My first solo traveling experience ewas in 2009 when I visited Toronto (went there mainly for a job interview). I was a bit apprehensive at first, but everything turn out better than I imagined. Now I'm hooked on this solo traveling business. I like to be able to do things when I want to and at my own pace. However, it's definitely nice when I'm able to befriend people on the road.
great advice as usual
I think the last one is the most important! If you're scared the whole time then you're missing out on so many unforgettable adventures and opportunities!!! Women just need to listen to their gut. It's ALWAYS right!
Awesome tips! I have never actually travelled solo (other than trips from France to Canada, but those don't count), but you've definitely inspired me to maybe get out for a long weekend by myself somewhere!
I like how you talk about dressing appropriately. Could you give me any tips on how to dress appropriately and respectfully in Thailand since you've been there? I'll be going to Koh Samui in June, and don't want to disrespect anyone while I'm there!
Loving your blog as always! Keep it up! (oh, and don't forget to pop on over to my blog to enter my giveaway
An important one you brought up is dressing to cultural norms. This is a sign of respect to the culture, and in return you will be respected
I traveled alone in Turkey, so far, but I'm ready for more solo trips!
Great tips, Oneika! I definitely agree!
And I just like the encouragement for women to travel solo. I was so scared when I went to Portugal alone for a week in 2010 — but it turned out to be one of the best vacations I ever had! I was so surprised that I didn't end up being lonely — instead, I made more friends than if I traveled with my normal ones. And I'm still in touch with some of the people I met there… and for some, we've already met up again! I loved solo traveling, would recommend it, and I look forward to doing it again!
Feel like I've just won the Golden Ticket from the Willy Wonka Factory (I think that's the name)!
This is freakin' magnificent. I'm the one holding myself back because, to be honest, I'm scared, I'm nervous. Not so much anymore. This has given me the confidence to book my Eurostar, RyanAir, etc. tickets! And not just to countries where I have family, lol. Can't wait for March. Thanks for this Oneika!
I really enjoy reading positive articles like this as setting off on first ever solo trip this May and have all of the insecurities you mention here.
Very informative Thanks for the Tips. While I study abroad I never took a weekend trip by myself, but I often would plan easy day trips or spend the day exploring by myself. I think solo time traveling is very important!
FABULOUS post as always, Oneika!! Solo travel is near and dear to my heart, as I've had SO many amazing experiences around the world on trips I've taken by myself for both business and pleasure.
Not sure if one of your commenters mentioned this nice "side benefit" of solo girl travel, but you are much more likely to meet cool guys when you're rolling solo. I've met Italian and French guys who I've kept in touch with over the years all because I took a chance and went alone to a book reading, to an outdoor cafe, etc. Because you look content and confident, guys WANT to approach you … and I've had great dates and other experiences because I wasn't sitting there chatting away with my girlfriends or was otherwise disengaged from what was happening around me.
Of course, we've always got to use common sense when we're on the road. But being alone — and happily so — is WAY attractive to any guy we might possibly want to meet!
Happy Travels,
Maureen/UrbanTravelGirl.com
Looking forward to that post! I think I have one forthcoming about my favourite travel accessories…
LOL at planning escape routes!
Nice! Where'd you end up going!?
LOL Fidel you are a mess for that comment!!
Thanks for the compliment on the smile, though.. :-0
Eww! Sounds like he was on you like white on rice… I'm from Toronto and seen that happen a lot so I'm not surprised… Honestly, the language barrier thing really hasn't been a problem for me! It gets a bit trickier in Asian countries where the alphabet is completely different (meaning I can't read signs), but in my experience, people are so nice and helpful it's a non issue.
haha thanks, Ashlea! I don't look like that in a swimsuit any more though.. Need to hit the gym!
Glad you enjoyed!
Definitely awkward!! You'll have to take IC with you to India next time so he can take care of you if you fall ill…
You asked and I delivered!! For me, it's not worth the drama to wear a short skirt! When travelling solo my safety is my top priority.
Muchas gracias, chica! I think that travelling alone allows you to step out of your comfort zone and be much more aware of your surroundings. It also gets you out of that "I'm only gonna talk to my friends on this trip" rut. Love it!
Exactly! Not having to answer to anyone when you travel is fantastic!
Merci!
I agree! It's almost not worth it to travel alone if you'll worry the whole time and miss out on incredible experiences! I also agree that you ALWAYS should go with your gut instinct/spidey sense…
I've never been to Koh Samui, but it is a popular beach destinations for foreigners so I wouldn't worry too much about how you dress! That being said, I think bringing a few sarongs and shawls is a good thing, because if you're inappropriately dressed you won't be able to go into temples. Will you be spending any time in Bangkok at all? Jealous! Saw your giveaway but havent entered yet!
How did you find it travelling in Turkey as a solo female? I have heard that the men can be aggressive!
I remember reading your blog post about your trip to Portugal! I also love meeting travellers on the road because there's always the chance that you'll cross paths again!
Aww!! So cute with your analogy, love it!! Where you going in March?! Book away!!
Ooh! Where are you going, Alison!!?
Agree! And you know what? Sometimes it's good to progress with baby steps (i.e. doing day trips solo) so that you can eventually build up to big trips!
I didn't mention that one but it is DEFINITELY a side benefit..
I've met a few boys while travelling on my own but for the sake of not exposing the innocent I refrained from putting in any anecdotes… LOL! I find that in general I get approached more when I am abroad! It's so fun!
Preparing is key for me to enjoy a trip. I was worried I'd be bored and feel lost by myself in Sao Paulo, but I made myself a giant list of things to do and ended up having a great time as a result. And I think hostels are the way to go if you want to at least have the option of hanging out with other people. Now the only remaining issue is how to avoid being lonely and a little bored (even with a book) at dinner when you're traveling alone!
haha yeah
But I think they are still respectful, they are just vocal! I found French men to be a little more aggressive 
look at you, cracking out all these resourceful blog entries!!!
I loved this post!!! I was telling a friend that she should go to Paris alone! She wants to go and doesn't have a travel buddy. It's not so bad!! Just don't make a lost face. I used to travel alone but stayed at friend's houses. All day I was by myself and I liked the freedom of spending as much time as I wanted in a museum or just walking around. I hate to depend on people's budget and vacation. Now I'm married and I have a travel addict husband. He does not want to stay behind even if I'm just taking a boring work trip. He has a flex schedule so he can work from home. I'm the one with the limited vacation time! I don't travel enough for work but I'm comfortable by myself. I always have a book to keep me busy.
Last Year I went to a concert alone. I felt a bit lost and like a L at the beginning. Then another Colombian girl sat next to me alone!!! I was so relieved! Haha it was a slow music concert. No jumping or crazy people but it was the first time that I tried it. I will not stop doing things just because nobody else likes what I want to do
Hi Oneika! Great post, dead on advice and great experiences!
Will definitely keep following your blog! Lo
I LOVE your blog and your energy!
I love to travel and have a great desire to see the world, I've been lucky to see some places and have a lot more to explore but to do it alone is not for me! I have extreme anxiety issues lol when it comes to traveling, it's amazing all of you explorers. I admire your free spirits!
I've never travelled alone before, but it's on my bucket list, so thank you for these tips!
I am thinking about doing my first solo trip to Malta at the end of this month. Was reconsidering and waiting to get someone to go with me, but waiting for other people doesn´t always end up in the best outcome. So after reading this, I feel encouraged to do my first solo trip.
love the wrapper you wore at the royal palace in Thailand. This has definitely motivated me to go do it alone. I use to go around asking for travel partners which most times i get none, so I would not go anywhere. Or I would get too many people interested and I don't get to enjoy the trip as much as I would have had I gone alone. The few trips I have done across China has been good, but lonely
Seeing all your pictures has definitely given me the much needed push. Thank You!
curiouskinks.blogspot.com
Hey Oneika!!! I have traveled solo several times in the past and I agree with your tips/suggestions. There’s so much freedom and peace when traveling solo. The one thing I can say that sucks about it is asking random people or accepting random people and their offers to take your pictures with your camera.
I know what you mean! I really like taking pictures in front of the monuments that I visit, so it really pains me to have to cut down on those sorts of shots since I don’t have a travel partner ready and waiting to snap my pic… I’ve become a pro at doing the self-shots, but when I want a full body picture I just end up asking another solo tourist to take my pic- then volunteer to do the same for them!
Nice list! I’m a big fan of the walking excursions. Big fan and it cuts calories so I kill two birds with one stone! Wow, I can’t believe you did Iceland solo. My concern is always… budget. The more expensive the place the more I get cold feet about going there solo. Bravo to you!
Christine | Grrrl Traveler recently posted..Kimchi eating contests, Fun and Faux pas at Hawaii’s 11th Annual Korean Festival
The cost aspect of travelling solo is a deterrent for many as well- it’s so much cheaper to travel with a partner. That being said, researching travel deals and specials for singles is key!
Hi Oneika!
I love your blog and enjoy living vicariously through you, lol. I have dreamed of traveling abroad for sooo long! Well, I’ve finally taken that huge step and booked my ticket to Barcelona!!!! I signed up to receive notice of airfare deals on airfarewatchdog (I hope it’s okay to post the name), and a FANTASTIC fare was posted in my inbox a few weeks ago. I had the money, so I decided I wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass me by! I will be there for 10 days and will be traveling solo. I will stay in a hostel (that I thoroughly researched) and I CAN’T WAIT!!!! I am someone who gets tired of “talking about it” after awhile and likes to “be about it”, so I’ve decided going forward to make it my priority to seize opportunity and live my life to it’s fullest! Thanks for all you do, particularly, serving as an inspiration.
Be Blessed!
Nicole recently posted..I’ve reserved my hostel!!!!
Omg, so much fun!!! Barcelona is a great city. You’ll have a fab time. Carpe diem!! If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to email me
http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/17/world/asia/india-tourist-gangrape/
Would you recommend traveling alone in India?
This may sound like a silly question but what would you have done had you been able to contact your boyfriend while sick? Wouldn’t it have been better to wait it out (like you did) or get yourself to a hospital instead of him coming from Germany?
Sorry if you’ve answered something similar to this before! Thanks! (:
2 things:
1. I LOVE your blog! I’ve been lurking for nearly 3 years now!
2. The link for the post on how you can afford to travel does not work
All really great tips! Love that last one.
Kieu ~ GQ trippin recently posted..Full Moon Party in Thailand
Thanks!